The Ted Lasso Relationship Guide: Keeley and Rebecca's Friendship

The power of seeing other people, being seen, and seeing yourself

Are we all recovering okay from the finale? Was Ted having another panic attack at the end? Does this post mean that we’re getting another season of Ted Lasso? Or at least a season of some Ted Lasso-adjacent show? So many questions. While we wait for answers (and cheer on the writers who are currently striking to be compensated appropriately for giving us stories we can chew on well after the fact), let’s get back to the Relationship Guide with one of my favorite set of friends - Rebecca and Keeley.

There have been some amazing female friendships written on television over the years. My previous favorite was probably Leslie Knope and Anne Perkins (more people need to call each other a beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful musk-ox), but ever since Keeley Jones put her bare feet up on Rebecca Welton’s couch and ogled her nude sunbathing photo, it’s been those two. They have an energy that absolutely delights me in every way. Today I want to write about not one particular scene, but how they made each other better through the seasons.

Rebecca Helped Keeley Focus

Early in the show, Keeley describes herself as being sort of famous for being almost famous. There is obviously nothing wrong with making a living as a model, but Rebecca, of all people, knows that there is always someone younger and prettier who can fill that role. When she sees how Keeley is able to work with brands for the team, Rebecca offers her a job with AFC Richmond.

Rebecca rightly notes that men give each other jobs all the time. In 2023, only 10% of Fortune 500 companies are women-led. People are inclined to hire those who look like them (or who they think look like them), and if most companies are led by men, they will likely continue to promote more of the same. 

But more than Rebecca simply giving Keeley an opportunity for a steady job, she helps Keeley find a way to focus her creativity into something more tangible than simply being almost famous. Rebecca sees Keeley’s individuality and effervescent personality not as a liability, but as an asset. She then uses her position as the club owner to help her find her way.

She doesn’t only help Keeley in business, but Rebecca also offers insights into Keeley’s relationships. One of their first conversations is in the bathroom in s1e4 when Rebecca tells Keeley that the woman who was bidding on Jamie in the bachelor auction was actually someone that he brought along. She reminds Keeley that everyone makes mistakes, but that being accountable matters.

In the most recent season, Rebecca tells Keeley about love bombing and warns her against allowing Jack to overwhelm Keeley with gifts and elaborate gestures. She explains how Rupert did the same when they were first dating, and makes Keeley aware that this could be cause for concern.

What I appreciate is that she never tells Keeley what to do. This is part of what makes their friendship so refreshing. At no point does Rebecca shame Keeley for her choices or indicate that she should change what she’s doing. She simply points to her experience and warns against possible negative outcomes. In other words, she directs Keeley’s focus beyond the shiny, pretty thing and mentions the possible consequences. And it’s clear that she will stick around regardless of the outcome.

Rebecca is older than Keeley. She has experiences that Keeley has not and as a result, she has wisdom that Keeley might not have. But rather than lord this over her, she lays out the options and allows Keeley to make choices from there, trusting that Keeley can see for herself the best path. 

Keeley Helped Rebecca Have Fun

In the same episode where Rebecca warns Keeley about Jamie’s unaccountability, Keeley snags a couple bottles of champagne and recommends that she and Rebecca get drunk. One of the final scenes is the two of them in this silly rickshaw, surrounded by twinkle lights, riotously laughing. Keeley can see that Rebecca is having a tough night, but rather than allowing these men to ruin their night, they choose a moment of joy in a blossoming friendship.

Over and over we see Keeley encouraging Rebecca to see herself as someone more than just Rupert’s victim. She doesn’t deny that experience, but she refuses to allow Rebecca to stay there. She constantly reminds Rebecca that she is gorgeous and desirable. She constantly reminds Rebecca that it’s good to take chances and put her own well-being first.

When Rebecca is flirting with the mystery man (Sam) on Bantr, Keeley is constantly encouraging her to take a risk. When Rebecca is waiting outside the restaurant, afraid to go in and meet him, Keeley calls and gives her a pep talk. She tells her that even if it’s terrible, Rebecca can hound her for the rest of her life and then she reminds her that she is gorgeous.

When Rebecca gets in her head, convincing herself that she can’t do something, Keeley is there to tell her how amazing she is and to remind her that most things aren’t quite as big as she might think. If it goes poorly, she has someone to commiserate with. But it might go great. Where Rebecca offers warning, Keeley offers possibilities.

They Help Each Other See Themselves Clearly

What I love about this friendship, and really, all good friendships, is that they are able to help one another see each other more clearly and fully. Rebecca sees that Keeley is capable of more than she might expect of herself and helps move her in those directions. And Keeley sees that Rebecca is more magnificent than she realizes and helps her recognize that in herself. 

Most of us are unable to fully see ourselves. We bring with us baggage from previous relationships. We bring the expectations that others have placed on us and the ones that we have placed on ourselves. We bring our secret failures and fears. We may think that means we can see ourselves even more clearly, but the truth is, all of those can obscure our perception of who we really are.

A good friend can see the best parts of you and remind you that they are there. They won’t try to force you into something you’re not ready for, but they will encourage you to be the best version of yourself. They will encourage you to be more fully you, to engage with the parts of yourself that you may have lost sight of in the midst of all of those other influences.

 If you’re lucky, they’ll call you a beautiful musk-ox.