Shrinking S2, Episode 7: Sitting in Discomfort
Breakdown of the seventh episode of the new season of Shrinking on Apple TV+
Note: As usual, this is a spoiler-filled post about episode 7 of Shrinking. If you’re looking for a broad, non-spoiler overview of season 2, you can find my full season 2 review over at Loud and Clear Reviews. If you’re catching up, you can read reviews for episodes 1-2, episode 3, episode 4, and episodes 5-6 at the relevant links. Now, on to this week!
I continue to be impressed by season 2 of Shrinking. I thoroughly enjoyed the first season, but the depth of character development happening this season is truly astounding. And we are getting performances that I hope will be noticed during awards season.
This week, Derek #2 and Gaby finally look like they will have a date. Jimmy and his patient Dan spend the day together, trying to prepare Dan to attend a wedding with people he doesn’t know. Alice realizes that Summer is going through her difficulties and is able to look beyond herself to heal that friendship. Brian and Charlie are offered a baby and decide they need a little more time before they’re ready to adopt. And Jimmy catches Alice and Brian at dinner with Louis.
But the story that hit me this week was Liz kissing Mac and then talking to Derek about it. This story has been in the making over the past few episodes, but actually seeing her kiss Mac was a huge moment. And then Ted McGinley, as Derek, provided us with a performance I would have never guessed he was capable of. I was absolutely blown away by the gravity that he brought to the moment.
Here’s the thing. I have been Liz. I was married, and I kissed someone who was not my husband. I don’t write much about that because, believe me, I have spent plenty of time self-flagellating about what I did. Having an affair was easily the most shameful thing I ever did, and I kept that shame alive for a long time. Forgiving myself has been challenging, and sometimes all the work I have done on that just evaporates, and I feel as bad as I did confessing it. Fortunately, the time between those moments stretches further and further apart.
That said, the moment that we see is intense. And no matter what led up to it, there is simply no excuse for Liz’s choice. John Gottman talks about bids for connection in his book “The Relationship Cure,” and we see Liz make a bid in the previous episode. But then, instead of simply saying, “I need help, please help me,” she goes to Mac. She chooses against total vulnerability and instead opts for the easier and ultimately more destructive option.
We don’t get into all of the inner machinations of Liz’s thought process, but I think there is a tendency to want to avoid messiness. It’s why, for generations, it was common knowledge that you didn’t talk about religion or politics. Keep the messiness out of polite society. But it’s not like those uncomfortable feelings didn’t exist. Eventually, the disagreements that were bubbling under the surface made their way to the top and boiled over.
And now, in the wake of a deeply contentious election, I see this desire to continue to paper over differences continuing. There are lots of “we can disagree and still be friends” which ignore the real fears and anger that people have about the rhetoric of the President-Elect. And then lots of declarations that people need to be cut off are just a less nice way of continuing to not talk about the issues dividing us.
I’m not here to tell you how to respond to something like we all went through, but I know that not talking hasn’t worked for decades. And I know that any change that I have undergone has been because people loved me enough to keep me in some state of discomfort. That unsettled feeling made me examine my beliefs. It forced me to look at things differently than I had. And sometimes, that led to a shift in my thinking.
I think if Derek and Liz are going to find a way forward, discomfort is going to be a part of that process. I know for me, I feel like it’s time to lean into some discomfort.
Best joke: When Paul and Raymond talk after Liz leaves them, Raymond asks Paul how he knows Liz. “She almost shit in my desk once.” Harrison Ford, man. He’s still got it.
Best cry: That voice break when Derek says, “I don’t ask you for much.” Absolute devastation.
Next week is my favorite episode of the season. In the meantime, what has helped you change your mind about something you thought could never change?
My favorite line from Derek in that scene was, “I let you make fun of me because I thought we were good.” The teasing and bantering that happens in loving, safe relationships has no place when trust is broken. 💔